Thursday, June 4, 2009

Awakening to Vietnam











The beauty of the lotus flower here in Vietnam rising out of the depths of such struggle and darkness to bloom ever brighter.


On the Headset on the way to Vietnam Tim Buckley (Yes Jeff Buckley’s dad to those of a younger era) is singing that amazing and powerful song from the stunningly complex and heart-filled anti-war film with Jon Voight, Bruce Dern and Jane Fonda - Coming Home. A poem that goes straight through the heart.

“Once I was a soldier
and I fought on foreign sands for you
Once I was a hunter
and I brought home fresh meat for you.

Once I was a lover
and i searched behind your eyes for you.
Oh but soon they’ll be another
to tell you I was just a lie.


But sometimes,
I wonder
just for a while.
....will you ever remember me.

Though you have forgotten 
All of our rubbish dreams...I find myself searching
through the ashes of our ruins.

For the days when we smiled
and the hours that ran wild
with the magic of our eyes
and the silent of our worlds

But sometimes
I wonder
Just for a while.
Will you ever
ever, ever,
remember me.

Coming to Vietnam was to be a healing journey. I never served the war, but as a teenager I took to the streets. It was my parents who first took me to an anti-war demonstration - even to Washington for the Moratorium of 1969. Soon after I went with friends to DC for mass
gatherings for peace in 1971 and in the counter-Nixon inauguration of 500,000+ in 1972. Cold in January but warming for the heart on so many levels.

Yet this trip is showing me how traumatized we still are as Americans from this war. More than 50,000 US troop deaths, but even deeper was the continuation of the erosion of the American illusion as liberator and freedom fighter. The integrity gained in liberating Europe was quickly lost as the atomic bombs shattered kids on tricycles in Japan and in the US carpet bombing and horrific acts in Korea. The cycle of violence continues to haunt us to this day.

In the US we became stuck in the past - frozen in time in our images and stereotypes. For despite some hearings on a few high profile massacres and the discussion of the PTSD war trauma of soldiers, we have yet to learn a new way of relating from this experience with those with which we have strong differences (See Iraq, DPRK etc).

For me as an American caught in the legacy of shame from the Vietnam War, I too find myself trapped in the sounds of war. I can walk around the lake in Hanoi and hear air raid sirens and feel a chill, while here Vietnamese lovers watch the sunset. While floating on the river in the stillness it can be muffled by the sound in my head of gunfire or my mind scanning the high grass along the bank - feeling the fear that must have been so pervasive.

All of this and I never fought here or visited here. The body memories of the GI’s must be so deep and painful. I think by being here you get that strongly.

The take on the Recruitment poster with Uncle Sam comes to mind “"Join the Army - travel to distant lands; meet exciting, unusual people and kill them....” When will we learn that this cannot work. Like Obama said yesterday in Cairo “Violence cannot work.” We need to apply that to our own dealings around the world.

However, the country here had move than 5 million casualties in maimed and killed civilians and soldiers. Incomprehensible to us. Yet, the shocking thing to me is how much laughter, joy and hospitality I experience and observe. I see a very proud people - the victors in war and struggle - about to celebrate their 1000 year history as a city - declaring themselves to be “The City For Peace.” Most of the people here are under age 35. They have never known war. Perhaps they lost grandparents to the war, but they now focus on fashion, work, school, cell phones and coffee houses.

I too begin to change. The sounds that echoed in my mind begin to fade and I am left with the sparkling reflection of the water, the plumeria petals filling the steps to the temple or the smile of a fisherman. I then begin to understand.










We only heal when we re-write our story - or at least turn the page. We heal when we face the quiet demons that have been trapped through thoughts or experiences and enjoy the essence of being human. Ubuntu means we are human only through or relations with other human beings. Its the C S & N song Wooden Ships: “Smile at me and I will understand.”Bringing the world closer is the key. Even here in the “Socialist Republic of Vietnam” we have more in common than we know.

We can’t rewrite the cruelty of war. But here in Vietnam they rebuilt a sacred pagoda that the French had purposely blown up as they were exiting their occupation in Vietnam. The tourist still come to the “ancient” pagoda - with its fresh rebuilt concrete base - to celebrate something older than brick and mortar. It’s a continuum that endures and I am here to celebrate and join the side of life that refuses to let hope die, but wishes to, despite adversity, continue to celebrate the amazing journey of life.

Posted by Eric Sirotkin

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